i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
