now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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