A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
BRING THE BAGELS
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
