hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
