we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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