We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
