The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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