oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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