On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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