my soul wont recognize me after tonight
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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