i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
