oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
