So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
