Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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