Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
she woke up with a sticky ear
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
