as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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