You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
