Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
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Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
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I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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