It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
