I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
