omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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