By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
