hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
there is puke in my bra ... again
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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