I could make wine with my vomit
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
