She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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