You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
