also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
