So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Terrible idea I love it
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize