If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Let's paint friendship bongs
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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