I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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