I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
