This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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