Whoa Z and x make the same sound
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
