sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
