Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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