This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize