i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
