Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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