dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
