I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
