Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
