Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
