this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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