Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(605): View more from South Dakota

I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants

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(614): View more from Ohio

If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.

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(734): View more from Michigan

Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.

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These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS

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(802): View more from Vermont

I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger

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(856): View more from New Jersey

She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism

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(313): View more from Michigan

doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check

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(563): View more from Iowa

You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.

(1-563): View more from Iowa

That's some kind of record drunk there...

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