im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.