Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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