Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
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No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
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She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.