Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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