So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
