It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
