I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize