he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize