This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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