college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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