Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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