Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
