Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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