...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Let's get the cat blown out
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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