I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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