My nipple is on Facebook.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
