what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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