The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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