this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
