I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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