she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Randomize
