We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
