Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
