Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
